Category Archives: Christianity

Fish Funeral

I am preparing to do another funeral, but I’m struggling because I have been flipping through the UM Book of Worship and have not found a liturgy for fish. My daughter will be three in January. She has a pet fish named Dorothy (I think 95% of fish owned by kids under 5 are named either Dorothy or Nemo). It is sick.

It is a Beta. Once it was a brilliant red, with flowing fins and a swatch of glowing blue. Once it swam around her tank, eager for a couple of little pellets. We swore that she would come out from behind her rock whenever our daughter entered the room. We had some adventures with Dorothy. There was the time our daughter, while we thought she was napping, got the can of fish food.

She somehow unscrewed the top and gave Dorothy enough food to last about six years. Then she spilled the other half of the can in her bed. That was our first call to poison control (Beta food is okay for toddlers).

Our daughter was so excited when we brought Dorothy home. For months she kissed the tank good night and was very good about feeding her. Eventually, the novelty wore off, but she never stopped loving Dorothy. Over the last few weeks Dorothy has not looked so good. Ellie has been very concerned, and we have prepared her for the worst.

“Dorothy is very sick,” I told her. “She might die soon.”

Ellie knows a little about death. She has been to funerals. We have allowed her to see bodies laying in state. We talk to her about death. I’m not sure what she understands, but we haven’t hidden it from her. We feel that society does enough death-denying. We don’t have to participate in it too. Sometimes she asks questions or says things that give us pause. But we try to be consistent in telling her that eveything dies. Even Dorothy, even our dog, even Mommy and Daddy.

“Will I die?” she asks.

“Yes. Someday.”

“When I die, we can die together,” she says as she looks in my eye. Inside I agree. If she dies before me, there is no question that I will die too. Every parent that has seen their child die has died a little too.

“Ellie,” I say as I take her hands and look her in the eye. “We will all die someday, hopefully not for a very long time. And if you die, I’ll be so sad, but I know that you’ll be with God. But right now we are living, and I love you, and we can enjoy living every day and be thankful that we are alive.”

I don’t know if we have done the right thing in talking with our two-year-old about death, but I’m not afraid to talk to her about important things – big things – things she might not understand. The thing is, talking to a two-year-old about things makes you boil things down a little.

We live. We die. In between we do everything we can to love and laugh and and share and dance and sing and play. Through it all, God is with us. God is in our creation. God celebrates our triumphs, mourns our tragedies, and in the end, God is ready to take us home.

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Why not Church?

I want to hear from people that do not profess to be Christians.  I want to hear from people that claim the name of Christ, but do not participate in any church.  I want to hear from those that are interested in “spirituality,” but not in “religion.”

I want to start a conversation.  I am interested in reaching out to people that are non-religious, and this is one small step in that direction.  I am hoping to fill the comments section of this post with thoughtful answers.  I know that there are people that do not believe. I know that there are people that have been harmed by the Church, that have been harmed by bad pastors, that have been harmed by people that claim to be Christian.  I want to hear from them.

So please, tell me what you think of Religion.  Tell me what you think of Christianity.  Tell me what you think of the Church.

If I get answers posted on my facebook profile, I am going to copy and paste them here. I am going to resist responding directly to any comments.  Please be respectful.  Please also be honest.

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And it was still hot

That's me up there.

That’s me up there.

When I was a boy, I discovered a wonderful book.  It was a part of my school library, and I would check it out every chance I had.  It was the story of a boy who was sent to bed without his supper for misbehaving.  While in his room a “forest grew, and grew, and grew until his ceiling hung with vines and his walls became the world all around.”

I was Max.

I was the little boy that got into trouble.  Not so much for being a wild thing, but for other reasons.  I was the little boy that had a big imagination – one full of friends and heroes and enemies and a few wild things.  I was the boy, who after going on an adventure, even when he knew his mother might be angry with him, could depend on the fact that when he came home, his supper would be waiting for him.

“Where the Wild Things Are” is more than a book to me.  It is a story that captured me twenty five years ago and continues to hold me tight.  It is a story I now tell my daughter – word for word, without the book.  It is a story of adventure, imagination, friendship, love, loss, and grace.

“Where the Wild Things” opens in movie theaters tonight.  I have seen all the trailers.  Even with a resounding endorsement from Maurice Sendak, I am reluctant to see it.  I am reluctant because its not his story anymore.  And its not Spike Jonze’s story either.  Its mine.

“Where the Wild Things Are” is MY story.  It is MY adventure.  I was there when they roared their terrible roars and gnashed their terrible teeth and rolled their terrible eyes and showed their terrible claws.  I was on that ship – dozens of times.  It is MY wild rumpus, complete with the beating drums in the background that I still make when I read the story.  I was the king of the Wild Things.

I am Max.

And it was MY mother who had dinner waiting for me when I returned.

I will probably go see the movie, but to be honest I’m not sure if I want to.  I’m not exactly sure what I’m afraid of.  I know that the story will always be mine.  When I was a kid it was important to know that no matter how wild I was, no matter how far I strayed, no matter how long I was gone, my supper would always be waiting for me.

As an adult I have a deeper understanding of grace.  Max and his mother helped teach me that.  So now maybe its okay to let go of my story – a little.  The story of grace is one that needs to be told over and over to as many people as possible.

Someday soon my daughter will come home from the library (her favorite place in the world) carrying the story of Max and his wild friends.  She will read it and I pray that she will know that no matter how wild she is, no matter how far she strays, no matter how long she is gone, her supper will always be waiting for her.

And it will still be hot.

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Part 2 – What is religious violence?

This is part 2 of my blog series based on the lecture of Dr. Martin Marty.  His lecture was titled, “Religion and Violence and the global searches for peace.”  He gave this lecture at Wesley United Methodist Church in Urbana.  Part 1 was called, “Why talk about it?”

This post is titled “What is religious violence?” This sounds like an obvious question, so the answer seems similarly obvious.  Religious violence is God-commanded and God-commended violence.  It happens when one person feels divinely ordained to inflict physical harm another person.  There are certainly types of violence that are not physical, but for the case of Marty’s lecture (and hence this blog) we will remain in the physical realm.

So here are some things that it is not.  Religious violence is not:

  • limited to any one faith, culture or country.
  • new.
  • something that only evil people do.
  • justification for the elimination of religion (some would argue this point).

Despite this relatively obvious-sounding answer, many have pretty a narrow view of what is religious violence.  For those that watch cable news in the United States, the term religious violence conjures images of suicide bombers and militant islamists.

Yet a closer look at the history of the United States reveals more religious violence then most would be comfortable admitting.  There was  early colonialism, slavery, Civil War, imperialism, urban riots (often directed at new religious groups), and of course, “Manifest Destiny”  That is the idea that God ordained the United States to expand its borders to the Pacific Ocean.   It was real big back in the 19th century.  It was the impetus for the genocide of thousands of native peoples.  It was also largely behind the Mexican War and the Spanish-American War.

An important step in limiting religious violence is admitting our own role in it.  It is easy to point fingers to our headlines and call people evil.  It is more difficult to do a little introspection and confession.

You may be thinking at this point, “All of those things you listed happened a long time ago.”  And you would be right.  And that is why so many sociologists felt that religious violence was on its way out.  There was a feeling that religious violence was becoming more and more isolated.  It was being relegated to a few regional skirmishes that would simply sputter out.

Wars that ripped Europe apart over religious lines were a part of the middle ages, not the modern world.  Nationalism had replaced religious fervor as the justifiable reason to kill someone.  Enlightenment thinkers in the United States and Europe saw religious power as the root of many societal ills.  The separation of church and state was of vital importance to the founders of this country so to avoid the traps that had plagued Europe for centuries. The Enlightenment gave birth to liberal theology,  and in the United States the  social gospel emerged.  This movement built hospitals and schools.  It made prisons more humane, and reformed labor laws.  Religion became a domestic animal, used to make our lives a little better.

And this was the religious bubble that existed in America for most of the 20th century.  Reinhold Niebuhr called America a “gadget-filled paradise suspended in a hell of international insecurity.”

While Europe was continuing to move toward secular nationalism and imperialism, America remained in a state of ignorant bliss about what was going on around her.  Yes, we intervened in a few wars, but only did so grudgingly, and called the first one “The war to end all wars,” and called the second one “The Good War.”

There were some leaks  in the bubble along the way.  Korea, Vietnam, and Watergate eroded our Pollyanna worldview.  There were rumblings at home, and some thought the 60’s would see the birth of a revolution, but even it faded as the hippies started to grow up and get haircuts.

Then came 1979.

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Religion and Violence, Part 1 – Why talk about it?

Dr. Martin Marty

Dr. Martin Marty

Last week I went to a lecture by Dr. Martin Marty.  Marty is a church historian and vital social commentator.  His column in The Christian Century has been a treasured resource for thousands of clergy and lay people.  His lecture was entitled “Religion, Violence, and the Global Searches for Peace.”

This is going to be my first post (I’m not sure how many more I’ll do) about the lecture.  I want to blog about the lecture because I believe it is such an important topic.  I want to do a series of posts because the lecture was so rich with information.

Why is talking about religion and violence so important?

1. Old theories have been proven wrong.  An important part of modern thought was the idea of secularization.  There was a theory that people and societies were getting gradually less and less religious, and during that process, the fringe radical elements would grow duller.  The belief was that as science and logic was able to explain more of the mysteries that religion had explained, religion would just slowly fade away.  While this to a large part happened in Europe, much of the rest of the world did not follow the pattern of secularization.

According to Marty, the 1979 Iranian revolution was the first sign that instead of the dulling of religious fundamentalism that was predicted, there has been a sharpening.  The attacks of September 11 showed that America was not immune to this increased radicalism.

Religious violence is nothing new.  Just ask any neo-atheist or look in any newspaper.  You are going to find evidence of violence perpetrated in the name of God.  What is apparant now, however, is that the long pattern of religous violence that is a part of our world is proceeding along a similar line as opposed to slowly fading away as predicted.

2. It is much more dangerous.  Again, religious violence is nothing new, but for most of human history, if two opposing religious people wanted to kill each other over their land, food, ports, god, ideas, money, oil, etc., they would simply kill each other.  The rest of the world could easily turn a blind eye.  Likewise, if an individual felt “called by God” to harm people in any way, that individual was very limited as to the  effect he could have.  Not so any more.

With the advent of weapons of mass destruction, regional conflicts can have global ramifcations.  And the impetus of a few radical individuals can harm thousands.

At the same time, mass media and communications have shrunk the world in such a way that all the violence can be broadcast around the world within seconds.  Violence in the farthest corner of the world can strike fear into the hearts of billions.  It can also inspire other likeminded religious radicals.

These reaons, among others, are why it is so important to talk about religous violence now.  The only way we can even begin to work for peace is to understand the state in which we live.

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Invitation (or Evangelism)

Invitation (or Evangelism)
by Robb McCoy

A child reaches out her hand.
There is no fear of rejection.
There is no self conscious worry or doubt.
There is invitation.
There is simply music, and dancing is more fun when you hold someone’s hand.

A child reaches out her hand and takes it.
There is no set of steps.
There are no moves.
There is no clumsiness or fear of people watching.
There is simply music, and dancing is more fun with a partner.

A child reaches out her hand.
There is no stranger.
Two children dance. There is
no race
no gender
no class
no status.
Two children hold hands and jump and twirl and laugh and sing out loud. Colors swirl, hair bounces, feet move with frenetic energy as arms swing to no other rythm than what beats in their heart. There is
Only joy.

A child reaches out her hand to another reaching out hers.
There is simply music, and dancing is more fun when you dance with a friend.

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More response to Jill and Kevin

I want to cut and paste the responses I got to this post on facebook. Some very thoughtful pastors had very interesting things to say.

I want to be clear that my previous post was not intended to be directed at Jill and Kevin. I don’t know Jill and Kevin. I did not see the rest of the service. Perhaps the pastor preached about the joyful dance that was meant to honor God. Perhaps they are devoted Christians, who instead of going on a honeymoon, went to Liberia to build a school. Perhaps they are egotistical jerks that are lapping up their new-found fame.  Perhaps they are somewhere in between.  I have no idea. Is this ceremony in any way indicative of the long-term success of their marriage? Not any more than any service is.

Every wedding is nearly meaningless to the marriage. A marriage is about deciding everyday to love, honor, care for and respect your spouse. There is no way to tell from any wedding ceremony if those two people will honor their vows in their heart. What I can say is this – the divorce rate for marriages that are lived in God, that are drenched in sincere prayer and heart-felt worship, with self-sacrifice, respect, love, honor, and faithfulness (and faithfulness is about a lot more than who one has sex with), is zero percent.

My post was about me thinking about what I would do if someone approached me with this idea. My response would depend on the couple and the situation.
My post was about the “look-at-me” attitude that pervades our culture – where fame is valued over humility and material gain is valued over sacrifice. Is this an example of it? Not in and of itself, but the response by the media, the recreations of it on morning shows, and the imitations of it that are sure to come, give me pause.

There is so much that I love about this video – I wish there was more of this kind of thing in church. Part of why it is so shocking is that people are dancing and having a good time in a sanctuary – which is sad. I can imagine how cool it would be if every Sunday morning the elements for Communion, the Bible, the liturgist, pastor, ushers, and other participants came into the sanctuary like this?

I could imagine how cool it would be if the offering were more like this? What if people came to bring their offering in song and dance instead of sitting like they were at a funeral – Or what about a funeral for that matter? I hope that when I die people can dance like this, not cause they’re happy I’m gone, but to celebrate a life well lived. I’m actually getting tears as I type this because I pray with all of my heart that more people could experience worship with this kind of joy.

So Kelly, please don’t think that I am judging anyone in this video. You think that God was smiling on them – I think you’re right. I think God celebrates with us during good times, and weeps with us during hard times, especially if we invite God to do so.

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Jill and Kevin’s Wedding Entrance

This is the lastest viral video to hit it big on the internet, and it is the first which to me has some theological implications.

I have been thinking a lot about this clip. As a pastor, I find myself wondering what I would do if a couple approached me with this idea. As of right now, I have two weddings on my calendar. It’s unlikely that either of these weddings will feature a dance-line processional, but given the popularity of this video, I can’t help but feel that in the course of my career, it’s going to come up.

Let me begin by saying that my reaction has absolutely nothing to do with this couple in particular. I have to admit I was moved by this video. The spirit of joy and celebration was evident – and not just in the dance moves. It was clear that this wedding was a celebration. Surely weddings are celebrations. The problem I consider is this: what are we celebrating?

It is not difficult to convince most couples that a wedding is about celebrating. The problem is that the celebration usually focuses on the bride and groom and the love they share. Yes, a wedding is about celebrating the love between two people, but it needs to be more. Too many weddings are little more than a narcistic celebration of wealth, materialism, and a romanticized, commercialized version of “love” that has little to do with Biblical love, faith, devotion, or self-sacrifice.

Seriously, ask a pastor you know if they would rather do a funeral or a wedding. I’m guessing the answer would surprise you.

The reason is because at most weddings God is an afterthought. The sanctuary is not so much a sacred space for worship as it is a pretty room with colorful windows and a good sound system. The congregation is actually carefully selected and invited guests. The pastor is usually chosen because they kind of “go with the church.” And of course, the ceremony is a not a time to encounter the divine and to worship God; it is just a troublesome ritual that has to be done before we get to the good part.

If a couple came to me and wanted to begin their wedding like this, I am not sure how I would react. It would probably depend on the couple. I can imagine a couple that really wanted to express their joy through dance. Dance has always been a part of worship, and I would be in favor of an entrance such as this if it were a part of a larger ceremony that celebrated God’s presence in their lives.

I can also imagine a couple that would use this as little more than another way to show everyone how great they are. If a couple, “saw it on youtube, and thought it would be fun,” I don’t think I’d be real supportive. Given the general self-centered, God-ignoring state of our culture, it would be difficult for me to not presume that most couples wanting to do a dance like this would be in this category.

Yes, this appears to be a wonderful celebration. I just have to ask, who is being celebrated?

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Top 5 questions for #6qumc

One mission

Three simple rules

Four areas of focus

Five practices.  And now… Six questions.

An intriguing new social-network based campaign by the United Methodist Church is 6 Questions.  I am not sure exactly what this is going to look like in the long-run, but this looks like a strong effort at reaching people through social networking groups such as facebook and twitter.  If you go to the link above, you will be able to watch a 40 second intro to the idea.  Then you have to register to get into the meat of the “6 Questions.”

What you will find is actually about 500 questions – all user submitted.  They are divided into many different categories.  At this point, there are no answers.  You can submit your own question, or go through the questions that are there and vote whether or not you like them.

I think the idea is that these questions will be whittled down to six at some point.  I don’t know what will happen once the six questions are asked, but if this can get people to start thinking about the place and role of the United Methodist Church, then it could be a very good thing.

So, for my new Top Five list, I submit to you, my six questions.  If you want to vote on my questions, I included the group you can find them in parenthesis:

  1. Is the candidacy process about discernment and development, or is it about gatekeepers setting up hurdles to clear? (Board of Ordained Minstry)
  2. Do guaranteed appointments help or hinder the mission of the UMC? (Developing principled Christian leaders)
  3. Why do men make up a majority of our pastoral leadership, but a minority of our active lay people? (United Methodist Men)
  4. How do the annual conference budgets allign with our four areas of focus, especially in regards to how we support campus ministry? (2010 Annual conference)
  5. How do clergy protect themselves from violating boundaries while maintaining friendships? (Pastor of a local church)
  6. How can a church foster economic diversity to gather in worship? (Engaging in ministry with the poor)

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Fathers’ Day Litany

Litany for Father’s Day

One:     For fathers everywhere, who have given us life and love, that we may show them respect and love.

All:       Holy God, hear this prayer for our fathers.

One:     For fathers who have lost a child through death, that their faith may give them hope, and their family and friends support and console them

All: Holy God, hear this prayer for our fathers that mourn.

One: For men who may or may not have children of their own, but act like a father to someone in need of advice, support, nurturing, and love.

All: Holy God, hear this prayer for our father figures.

One: For step-fathers who have assumed that role with love and joy, who have loved the children of another as their own, and created a new family.

All: Holy God, hear this prayer for step-fathers.

One: For adoptive fathers, who have heard the call of God to lovingly step forward for those that need their care.

All: Holy God, hear this prayer for adoptive fathers.

One: For fathers who have been unable to be a source of strength, who have not responded to the needs of their children, and have not sustained their families.

All: Holy God, have mercy on absentee fathers.

One: For fathers who struggle with temptation, violence, or addiction.  For those who do harm, and for those whom they have harmed.

All: Holy God, have mercy on fathers that struggle.

One: For new fathers, full of hope.  For long-time fathers, full of wisdom.  For the fathers yet to be, and fathers soon to be.

All: Holy God, hear our prayer for the fathers of your Church.

One: For those that have shaped our lives without claim of family or kinship.  For those who have taught us, guided us, shaped us and molded us into servants of Christ our Lord.

All: Holy God, hear our prayer for the fathers of our faith.

One: God our Father, in your wisdom and love you made all things.  Bless these men, that they may be strengthened as Christian fathers.  Let the example of their faith and love shine forth.  Grant that we, their sons and daughters, honor them always with a spirit of profound respect.  Grant this through Jesus Christ our Lord.  Amen

“Prayer for Father’s Day.” has been adapted by Robb McCoy from the United Methodist Book of Worship, page 441.

 

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