Tag Archives: Rachel Held Evans

Live from #LionLamb13

At some point tonight, I’m going to go to sleep.  When I do, I will sleep well.  Not yet though.  First, I have to stop my head from spinning.  I’m not sure how to explain all that happened today at the Lion and Lamb Festival.  I think the only way I can tell you about it is by telling you a story about my little girls.

Within minutes of arriving at Praise Park in Fort Wayne, Indiana, we were greeted by two little girls.  Age six and five, they were delighted to see my two daughters, age six and three.  The four of them became friends immediately, achieving immediate intimacy in a relationship in a way that only children can.  The four spent most of the day together.  “I’m in first grade too!”  They worked on crafts together.  “I like to color too!”  They ran and danced and played together.  “I like soccer too!”  They relished in learning about each other, and sharing the things they loved in an unbridled and unpretentious way.  For a six-year-old, there is no such thing as idle small talk.  There is only genuine discovery.

As a cool breeze slowly transformed the sweltering day into a perfectly pleasant evening, the girls paused for a snack.  They sat on a bed sheet in the field as Amy Cox played on the stage.  I discovered Amy on the Lion and Lamb’s youtube channel.  She was one of many musicians I had been looking forward to hearing.  As she played, I watched as the group of four girls started to grow.  The little community they created expanded.  Soon there were two more girls, and now there were two boys.  They were coloring.  They were looking at the Star Wars books we brought.  They were sharing cookies and apples.  They were dancing.  At this little group of children sat in a circle too perfect to have been planned by any parent.  They each had an apple, and all were dancing as Amy played.

While Amy was playing her beautiful song, “The Table,” which I included in a video below, one of the girls noticed something out of place.  There was another little girl just a few feet away.  She left the circle, tapped the girl on the shoulder and asked her to come play too.

In this moment, the Table was not a table at all.  It was a bed sheet spread on the ground.  There was no bread and wine.  There were apples, and grapes, and pretzels, and there was more than enough to share.  There were soccer balls, and a big field in which to run.  There was music in the air, and a Spirit calling the children to dance.

Lion and Lamb is not an event.  It is a community.  It is a community of people, spreading out a bed sheet, trying to figure out how to invite people to come, have an apple, and play.

It is Erica, a poet who spit her rhymes with a rawness that made me at one moment cringe, at one moment laugh, and at another moment make me bask God’s melody of creation.  She challenged me to step out to use art to proclaim peace and justice, and taught me a new word: artivism.  She inspired me to sit and try to write a poem.  I was shocked, and a little afraid, at what came flowing out of my pen.

It is Bruce, an author, an Asian man, a father, and a grandson of a woman who did not know where to sit in a bus in Little Rock Arkansas because she was not black, but did not see herself as white either.  He taught me another new word, microaggression.

It is Lorelei, who is training women to empower themselves and their communities in business.

It is Richard, a musician who is looking for songs that express a deeper understanding of God, and urges worship leaders to move beyond cliche and rote expressions of religiosity.

It is Rachel, a blogger and author who I admire and encouraged me to find my own voice by listening.  In her talk she challenged “preachers who want to be the next Rob Bell, and writers who want to be the next…” and didn’t fill in the blank, ONLY TWO DAYS AFTER I WROTE THIS: “Can I be the next Rachel Held Evans? Do I even want to be?

Tomorrow I am going to step into the speakers tent, and I am going to offer my voice.  I have already been changed by this community.  The plans I had for the talk I will give have changed too.  Right now I have no idea what I am going to say.  All I am going to do is throw open a sheet, take out a bag of apples, and share Christ’s love with anyone willing to play.

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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ll6a0caW5LU

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The 85th Christian blog you should be reading

ImageLast week Christian Piatt, a Patheos Christian blogger, conducted a survey looking for the “25 Christian Blogs You Should Be Reading.”  Readers and bloggers nominated over 400 Christian blogs.  While it seemed to me that most of them leaned toward the Progressive end of the theological spectrum, there was a pretty wide array of blogs nominated.  I discovered the survey a couple of days into it, and added The Fat Pastor.

I first sent the link to vote for my blog on Facebook at 11 p.m. on Friday night.  I did it once again on Saturday and again on Sunday afternoon.  I tweeted it twice, I think.  I shared the link a few more times on my personal facebook page.  I never thought I’d make the top 25, but I thought I could break into the top 100.

The final vote finished with The God Article as number one, Rachel Held Evans as number two, and The Fat Pastor tied for 85th.  You can see the whole list by clicking here.  I was pretty pleased with finishing tied for 85th, but what was really touching were the comments people made.  I went through the top 100, and mine was one of only four blogs that had seven comments.  And it was not just the seven comments that touched me, but the kindness and appreciation that was expressed in those comments, largely from people I’ve never met face-to-face.  Sure, one of the comments was my brother, but even his words meant a lot to me.  The comments made in the survey read like the back cover of a book.

It was a pretty exciting couple of days as I watched my blog rise through the ranks.  I was thankful to see a couple of my facebook friends not only vote, but share the link with their friends.  I received a little bit of criticism on the Facebook page for the self-promotion, but it was good-natured.  And rest assured, there was nothing anyone said there that I had not already thought of.  Should I care where I am ranked on some list?  Should I care how popular I am?  Why do I write?  Is it to gain a big audience?  What is the mission of this blog?

I’ve been thinking a lot lately about the nature of self-promotion on a Christian blog.  It takes a certain amount of hubris to write a public blog in the first place.  The moment I started The Fat Pastor, I remember thinking, “what do I have to say that other people should care about?”  Nearly five years later I am approaching 300,000 page views.  In the big picture of internet usage, that is barely a blip. At the same time, I think to my self “THREE HUNDRED THOUSAND!”

Does it matter that I’m approaching 300,000 views?  Am I being more faithful to God because I’ve reached this milestone than if I had not reached it?  I remember when I approached 1,000 Facebook followers.  I made a big deal about it on the page, and it turned people off, so they left.  Does the fact that I now have over 2,500 followers on Facebook make me a better writer?  Does that mean I’m a better pastor, or a better Christian, or closer to God?

None of the questions about self-promotion on a Christian blog are easily answered.  It all boils down to the question of mission.  What is the purpose of this blog?  Or put another way, if I suddenly had no facebook followers, no subscribers, no twitter followers, and no page views, would I keep doing it?  If I had a million followers and high traffic on the blog, what would change?

I am a writer and a preacher.  I will write about the love of God and preach the good news of Jesus Christ for as long as I have breath.  I will tell people about the transforming power of God, and I will share that with as many people as I can for as long as I can live.  I will struggle.  I will fail.  I will have doubts and questions, but the truth of who I am will never change.

Is it wrong to seek a larger audience for what I do?  I don’t think so, as long as what I do is point to something greater than me.  As long as what I’m doing is bringing people to the table of grace, then I’m going to keep going.  If my self-promotion takes precedent over God-promotion, then I’m in trouble.  In the meantime, I’m going to search for new audiences, because each audience is full of people – real people – who are longing to hear about the God that loves them, the God that errs on the of grace, the God that can lift all of us out of whatever hole we’ve dug ourselves, the God that can melt hearts, transform communities, and topple kings.

So yes, I wanted to be in the top 25 – because making the top 25 would have allowed me to speak to more people.  I believe in the story I have to tell, so I will continue to tell it. 

I’ve been grappling a lot lately about the future of this blog and the nature of my ministry.  How far should I push this Fat Pastor brand?  And if you’re turned off by my use of the term “brand,” I apologize, but that is exactly what I’ve created here.  I try to write from my heart.  I try to share my passion, joy, and frustrations.  I try to let you into my journey, but no reader will ever know the real me.  I don’t write every thought that pops into my head.  I make choices, and these choices create a separate entity that is not Robb McCoy, but the brand The Fat Pastor.  The Fat Pastor is me, but it is not all of me.  It’s not about being inauthentic, it’s just about having boundaries.  I create logos, and buy domain names, and craft a motto and wonder, what can I do with this blog?

Can I be the next Rachel Held Evans?  Do I even want to be?  Should I open a Fat Pastor store?  Should I sell t-shirts, mugs, and other merchandise?  Can I raise money through this blog to advertise in places to reach more people?  Can I raise money to support ministries?  Can I create a company that could help make a difference in the world?  Are there investors out there that could make it happen?  Should I write a book?  Should I seek more speaking engagements outside my congregation?  Should I open a youtube channel?  Should I live stream worship services?  How many people can I reach?  What does it mean to see “the whole world as my parish?”  To John Wesley it meant that he could get on a box and preach in a park and be just as true to his mission as he was inside a grand Anglican Church.  To me it means something different, and I pray that the Holy Spirit continues to guide me in understanding what it means to me.

I have a big vision for what The Fat Pastor can be.  I have to make sure that it isn’t just my vision, but a God-breathed vision that will build the Kingdom of God, not feed the kingdom of Robb.

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Lion and Lamb Festival

lion lambHeatherlyn, Amy Cox, Richard Bruxvoort Colligan, Andrew Peterson.  These are not household names, but I’ve spent the last few weeks listening to them on the Lion and Lamb Festival Youtube and Facebook pages.

They are wonderful, original artists, and I am looking forward to spending two days with them, and with the rest of the Lion and Lamb Festival community.  For two days over Labor Day Weekend, I will be in Fort Wayne, Indiana at the Lion and Lamb Festival.  I am one of a group of speakers, artists, and musicians that are coming together for worship, conversation, and community.

The mission of the Lion and Lamb Festival is to build a “community of hope gathering to share gifts, inspire authentic conversation, and passionately follow God in the world.”  As I read through the list of speakers, I am humbled by my own inclusion.  The gathering speakers are people doing the hard work of justice in the world.  They are an inspiring group of people, and I feel so honored to be a part of it all.

Rachel_Held_Evans_t580The keynote speaker of the event is Rachel Held Evans, whose writing I admire greatly.  She is speaking three times at the festival.  On Saturday she is a part of a “Conversation on Millenials and the Church.”  Later that evening she is a part of the main gathering.  On Sunday she is sitting down for a Q and A about her book “A Year of Biblical Womanhood.”  This is a remarkable book, which I blogged about once.  One of the highlights of my blogging career was when she started following me on Twitter, and retweeted the link to my post.  Imagine then, my excitement to find out that my time slot on Sunday comes on the same stage, immediately after her.  

I am looking forward to this festival for so many reasons.  It is going to include some of my favorite things in this world.  I will be there with my family, camping away from home for first time.  We will listen to inspiring live music.  We will soak up the energy of powerful leaders.  I will have a chance to tell my story to a new audience.  Above all, we will build community.  We will create relationships.

It is going to be an exciting two days.  And I want you to come along.  I have two free passes to the Festival.  If you want to go, let me know in the comments section or on my Facebook page.  Every name that comments (with a valid email address on this page, or on the Facebook page) before Monday, August 19 will be put into a hat.  I’ll draw the winning name on Monday, and post it with a new blog post.

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Woman of Valor

mccoys girlsShe is my partner.  She is my strength, my inspiration, and my teammate.  We are Team Robb and Sarah, and we are a formidable pair.  We are undefeated.

I just finished reading Rachel Held Evan’s “A Year of Biblical Womanhood.”  It is one of the best books I’ve read in a long time.  In it, Evans describes her year of trying to live out all the rules for women in the Bible as literally as  possible.  She examines Proverbs 31, and digs deeply into Paul’s teaching about women speaking in church.  She re-discovers inspiring Biblical women, some named, some anonymous that must never be forgotten.  The book is about a lot of things.  It is about the Bible.  It is about a self-avowed feminist calling her husband “Master.”  It is about discovering ancient spiritual practices, communing with Quakers, and the value of a well-baked loaf of cholla bread.

As I read the book, I was enlightened by her expert examination of the Biblical texts.  I was touched by her vulnerability when sharing her fears about motherhood.  I laughed with her when she made mistakes, and worried with her as she prepared meals.  Evans’s writing grabbed me, and invited me not only into her experience, but into the Biblical stories in a refreshing and powerful way.

Perhaps her greatest achievement in the book was the way she re-framed Proverbs 31.  She takes a passage that is so often used (abused) to describe the ideal of Biblical womanhood, and transforms it.  Instead of being a nearly impossible prescription for what a woman should do, it is really a love song to men reminding them of all that women are able to do.  It is not a checklist for women, but a reminder for men.  I read this chapter in the Nashville Airport, and had tears streaming down my face.  I wondered if Sarah knew how amazing she truly is, and I worried that I had not done enough to let her know.  I felt compelled to take her, hold her, and tell her “You are amazing.  You are strong.  You are brave.  You are a woman of valor, and I am honored to be your husband.”

Evans’s book is about a lot of things, but to me it is above all a love story.  It is a story not just of a woman, but of a team; Team Dan and Rachel, they call it.

Tomorrow I am going to run the Soldier Field 10.  It is the next step in my journey to love God, live well, and do good.  Less than one year ago I ran in my first 5K.  Sarah and I did it together, and afterwards we nearly collapsed in each others’ arms.  At that 5K, I was able to jog for the first two miles, and had to walk/jog most of the third mile.  I finished 3.1 miles in about 35 minutes, which bested my goal of a 12-minute-mile pace.  Tomorrow, my goal is to run 10 miles in 100 minutes.  I don’t know if I can do it, but I know how far I’ve come.

I have only been able to do what I’ve done because of Sarah.  All along I’ve said I’m doing this for my daughters.  I’ve done this so I can see them grow up.  I’ve done it so I can carry them up the stairs at night and not be winded.  I’ve done it so that I will see them in caps and gowns and white dresses and business suits and hospital gowns.  I have done it for my daughters, but I’ve done it because of Sarah.  Tomorrow we are going to conquer the Soldier Field 10.  We have already conquered so much.

We have conquered ten (almost eleven) years of marriage.  We have conquered selfishness and over-sensitivity.  We have conquered snarky comments, rolled-eyes, and cold shoulders.  We have weathered floods, heat waves, Snowpocalypse, and power outages.  We have screamed and cried and punched walls.  We have laid in bed at night and pondered the great mysteries of faith, the universe, and life itself.  We have struggled with Scripture and shared in prayer and Communion.

We have grown, sometimes kicking and screaming, into a faith that embraces wonder and gray.  We have laughed hysterically and spit drinks out.  We have celebrated wildly and emptied a few bottles of wine.  We have built enduring, life-giving friendships.  We have endured sickness, and mourned loss.  We have started the arduous and amazing task of raising two girls in a world that is full of danger.  They have lost a tooth, but have broken no bones.  We met after a Theta Chi party 15 years ago, and because of that night I cannot believe the saying that “Nothing good ever happens after 2 a.m.”

Tomorrow when we conquer the Soldier Field 10, I might be the one that crosses the line, but she will be there. It will be her power that gets me there.  No, it will be our shared power.  It is the power that we share with Christ, who conquered even death.  It is our shared power that has given us strength to conquer all things.  It is our shared power that will guide us into the future, ready to face the next challenge, the next Mount Laundry, the next 10 miles, the next ten years, the next chapter in our shared lives.

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