I have started reading Twilight, and I have to say, I don’t get it. I understand that as a 31 year old male, I am not exactly the book’s target demographic, but I’m not exactly the target demographic for “The Lion, The Witch, and The Wardrobe,” or “The Giver,” or “Harry Potter,” and all of those books are thuroughly readable. “Twilight,” on the other hand, is painful to read.
I am about half way through the nearly 500 page book, and I am really hoping that something happens soon, because the last 200 pages have been the following:
I love him so much, but I am afraid he’s going to eat me. But he’s so beautiful, and I can’t stand to be away, but I hope he’s so dangerous.
‘You need to stay away from me, Bella’ Edward said. ‘I’m sooooo dangerous.’
I knew he was dangerous, but I couldn’t take my eyes off his beautiful pale face. I love his beautificity soooooo much.
Seriously, there is nothing original about this story. There is a 17-going-on-35 girl that has a flighty Mom and a Dad she can’t communicate with. She is the new girl in a small town, and everyone is fascinated by her, and she is fascinated by the brooding, but devastatingly handsome loner that everyone in said small town misunderstands. This is every teen romance written since 1950, combined with every vampire story written since 1800.
Like I said, there might be something interesting coming. I am not done, but it is getting more and more difficult to read the completely unbelievable dialogue between two cookie-cutter characters.
Last night I was telling my wife about this book and I read a sample paragraph from the page I was on. She laughed, as I told her that is the entire book so far. To prove my point, I flipped to a random page and found an almost identical paragraph from the one I found. If you have this book, give that a try. Flip to any two random pages from 50-250, and see if you can tell them apart.
Some people must have liked this book. Please tell me why.
The Fat Pastor 